December 2011 • Family Meals Focus Special Edition #6 • Nurturing Children at School

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Due to the economic downturn, more children than ever qualify for free or reduced-price school menus. It’s a yay-boo story. Yay that we have this safety net. Yay that the powers that be are seeing to it that children get enough to eat, even providing evening meals in some cases. Boo that we are in this economic mess. But let’s set economics aside and consider what we each can do in order to truly nurture our children with school meals.

If you are a financially strapped parent who qualifies for these meals, remember that you are providing for your child. You are making positive use of community resources to see to it that your child gets his or her needs met. You do not need to apologize for this. In fact, you can help your child by finding positive ways to think and do that will allow him or her to feel truly nurtured by the program.

Treat the school nutrition program with respect. We all have our food traditions, prefer them, and feel strongly about them. However, when we criticize or disdain the food they depend on, children feel ashamed of eating it and liking it. You need not worry that school food will undermine your family foodways. At home, you are entitled to follow your convictions and preferences, and your child will learn to eat and prefer the foods you enjoy.

Assume your child will cope with the food that is on the menu. School nutrition personnel do not do sadistic feeding. They like children and are kind to them. They greet them. They offer choices. When they introduce a new food, they also offer a familiar and generally liked food. They make a bread-type food available so your child can eat that if all else fails. They take no for an answer. They do not insist your child eat everything on his or her tray. Go to bat for your child if your school nutrition program fails in any of these areas. To see a school cafeteria that brilliantly follows the division of responsibility in feeding, see this wonderful and entirely free video.¹

Understand normal child eating behavior. Children eat erratically. Some days they eat a lot, other days they eat only a little. Some days they eat some of everything that is put in front of them; other days they eat only one or two foods. Some days they love a particular food; other days they ignore that food completely. They eat what tastes good to them on a given day at a given meal. They don’t eat a food because they have been taught that it is good for them. They only eat what tastes good, and that varies from one day to the next.

Reassure your child that s/he doesn’t have to eat. If you have a family rule that your child must eat all of everything that is put before him or her - or even has to taste it - s/he will be afraid of the school nutrition program. S/he will assume that the same rules apply at school as at home, and s/he will worry about not being able to eat the unknown foods that the unfamiliar people in the great big cafeteria will offer him or her. While you are at it, reassure your child that s/he can eat only part of a meal and that every meal will have something that s/he can fill up on.

Assume your child will learn and grow. Children always do better if they have an out. Your reassurance that s/he doesn’t have to eat if s/he doesn’t want to will help your child to push forward and learn to eat the unfamiliar food in the cafeteria. Your child will learn to manage foods you don’t have at home and to respect foodways that are different from his or her own.

Eat at school occasionally. Eating there gives your blessing to the school nutrition program. Your child will experience those blessings when s/he eats there. Nothing gives your blessings more strongly than your enjoying the food and the lunch-room sociability with your child.

My list of articles about the school nutrition program is getting longer.^2-6 You can find them all at www.EllynSatter.com.

References

1. Stenberg M, Bark K. Comfortable Cafeterias: Positive, pleasant mealtimes in schools. http://www.opi.mt.gov/Programs/SchoolPrograms/School_Nutrition/MTTeam.html#gpm1_7. Bozeman, MT: Montana Office of Public Instruction 2011.

2. Satter EM. Appendix G, Feeding and Parenting in the School Setting.Your Child's Weight: Helping Without Harming. Madison, WI: Kelcy Press; 2005. Madison, WI: Kelcy Press; 2005.

3. Satter E. Provide, don't deprive, at school. 2011; http://www.ellynsatter.com/provide-dont-deprive-at-school-i-53.html.

4. Satter E. Family Meals Focus Special Edition #5 Proposed School Nutrition Rules. 2011; http://www.ellynsatter.com/march-2011-family-meals-focus-special-edition-proposed-school-nutrition-rules-i-168.html.

5. Satter E. Family Meals Focus #55: School Nutrition Horror Stories. 2011; http://www.ellynsatter.com/march-2011-family-meals-focus-55-school-nutrition-horror-stories-i-167.html.

6. Satter EM. Appendix H, Nutrition Education in the Schools. Secrets of Feeding a Healthy Family: How to Eat, How to Raise Good Eaters, How to Cook. Madison, WI: Kelcy Press; 2008:255-261.